Friday, February 25, 2011

I Promise I Haven't Left

I just have so much going on right now that I haven't been able to sit down in peace and type out a proper update.
My mom's birthday is coming up.. My sister and I are doing something special and secret for her, which I wont even post here until after her birthday JUST in case she finds her way here and reads this. :)
Oh my gosh, there is so much I want to update on, but I really just don't have the time tonight.. I need to get to bed soon, getting up early tomorrow to go to a cleaning job with my mom.  I'm totally going to type out a quick outline in a note pad or something to help me to not forget what all I want to cover in my next post.  Hopefully I can find time tomorrow night to sit down and post the complete update of the past week.
I also have been reading the updates on the blogs I follow, so if I didn't leave you a comment yet, trust me I will when I get the chance. :(
Tomorrow is going to be a crazy day and evening full of cleaning, shopping, my step niece's basket ball game, and dinner at my mom's place..  Yikes, Better get some sleep.

Friday, February 18, 2011

One Step Forward...One Step Right Back

There are a couple areas in my life this post is about.. Brace yourself, it's going to be a long one.

Heath & Fitness

First of all I need to admit that I have been doing HORRIBLE on my diet and exercise program.  Right after my wedding I had made a goal that I would lose 20 pounds and I would do it by eating healthy home cooked food and exercising at least 20 minutes each day for 3 to 5 days out of the week.  At first I was doing pretty good. Just a few weeks ago my sister bought us a scale so I could weigh myself accurately and I was so happy to see that I only had 8 pounds to go to my goal weight.  I thought no problem, I got this.  I'll be ready for swim suit season in no time!  Well... Unfortunately I got on the scale today after my work out and I have actually gained 5 pounds back..
I feel like crap.  I know it was all my fault, I have totally let myself slip.  A lot of it had to do honestly with my recent lack of self motivation in every department and my erratic ups and downs with my mood. 

We also have been consuming a lot of fast food lately.. Which is something that I definitely don't condone and have never really like to do.. It's just so easy. And it's nice not having to grocery shop this week because of it.. But it is definitely taking a toll on my body.  Another reason I have been ok with this behavior is because it just takes so long to prepare food and I know that's not a good excuse, but just sometimes you feel lazy, you know?  And things are going one and food is like the last thing on your mind and it's just so much easier to have your husband go through that drive through and pick some yummy but oh so unhealthy food and sodas.  Ugh, the sodas are the worst.  I am addicted to Pepsi and Coke.  Like bad.  Like I could seriously drink it all day..
Ok, getting back on track.. The food isn't 100 percent to blame here.. I also haven't been living up to my 3 to 5 days of working out a week.  These past 3 to 4 weeks I have been working out about.. 0 to 2 days a week... Not exactly what my goal was.
So.. That has been my HUGE unfortunate step back.. I now have 13 pounds to lose before summer instead of 8. :(

Work & Fear

In this department there has been a very very small step forward.  I might have mentioned that my mom has commissioned me to clean her house 2 days out of the month.  It doesn't seem like much, but it's definitely better than nothing at all.  Well, yesterday was my first day cleaning her house and it was a breeze.  She is a very clean lady and because she's my mom she said I could have a Coke (there we go with the cokes again) and eat lunch while I was there. :)  It's a pretty sweet gig, I might say.
The most stressful part of the whole thing was the driving.  I know I know, it's weird and pathetic that I am afraid of driving.. But I really really can't help it. :(  Because we only have one car I have to take Carson to work in the morning, then drive to my mom's place, then back home.  Then in the evenings I have to go pick him up from work on those days.  Luckily it's only 2 days out of the month.  But I just get so so so so stressed driving in 4:30 or 5:00 traffic..  I have the same problem driving to my two other cleanings a month that I do in the evenings.  I'm not going to give up my cleanings or anything just because of the driving, but I have to find some way to get over this fear.  It's like overwhelming..
One step in the right direction is my eye exam I have scheduled for tomorrow morning.  Hopefully I can get an updated prescription and will be able to focus more when I do drive. 
So that's a step forward.

And then with my jewelry situation I feel like I'm hanging in limbo.. I still don't have that bank account cleared out to set up a pay pal account.. So I can't sell anything that I have yet.  I haven't made anything new because my motivation is a little on the low at the moment with everything else going on.
And as strange as it sounds I can't seem to find the time to make myself sit down and make something. :/
It's like I have so many things I want to be doing right now and I just can't seem to get them all straightened out with each other.
Off to clean the kitchen and peel potatoes for dinner tonight.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Graphic Growth

I was feeling graphic designy again tonight, so I decided for a little practice and to just mess around for fun I would make a poster about me, much like the poster I made and printed for Carson.  I decided to push the limits a little with this one... Here it is.

The colors are slightly off but that's just from converting it to a jpeg from the pdf file.
I am pretty pleased with it and am excited to practice with other subjects as well.  I think I'm finding that I really like playing with words and type.  I used to really hate it.

I also really hope that me doing this doesn't look egotistical or self-satisfying or anything, because that's not at all how I feel about it.  If anything it can serve as a reminder that I don't suck, and I am good at somethings.  It's also kind of a motivation for me to keep improving my graphic design.  I don't want to be comfortable with where I am whether it's with my designs, my jewelry, or my walk with God.  I would love to always keep growing and improving in all areas of my life.  As sad as it may sound, this poster is probably the best piece of graphic design work I have done so far... at least in my opinion... And because of that I want to view it as a record to break so to speak.

That actually reminds me of this really cool Christian book I read called "Wild Goose Chase" by Mark Batterson.
I would give a summary of it, but I'm really bad at summaries.. So here's a link to the books website. lol..
Check it out :)

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Valentine's Day Roller coaster

Ok, first of all I'm sorry I haven't been posting at all lately.  It has been one thing or another that has just kept me from sitting down with my thoughts long enough to type them all out.  Some days I had too many thoughts and it was all stuff that I can't really share with the public.
One thing that we have decided that will hopefully help me to not be sick or tired or depressed so much anymore is to stop taking the birth control pill.  The pill has always given me trouble, I was on it in the past for regulating my periods, and it was horrible.  When I got married I thought "ok, I'll try that again, I'm older now and it's a different kind of pill, maybe it'll be fine this time."  No. Not fine at all. No matter how hard or often I work out or how little I eat, I can't seem to lose weight, I feel tired all the time and my mood swings have never been off the charts this bad.
So, step one before I attempt the dreaded psychiatrist (I've had bad experiences in the past), is to get off the pill and see if it helps me.

Alright, my Valentine's Day... it was... well, a roller coaster.
It started out terribly.  Carson and I had gotten into a huge fight the night before, and couldn't resolve it all day cause he was gone at work.  So my day sucked. After he came home (empty handed might I add) we immediately addressed the issue of the fight and that problem was solved pretty quickly.  Then I asked why he didn't have anything for me for Valentine's day.. See, what had happened earlier was he had called me right before leaving the office and asked if I had received anything yet that day, and I said no, why? SO then he told be about the flowers I was supposed to be getting.  I told him to check his email, maybe there was a mistake, he did, and sure enough the email said "could not be delivered on this date".  SOoooo, I was expecting that after that he would have like stopped at HEB or something and at least picked me up a dollar box of chocolates or something, right? Wrong, so as my Valentine's gift on actual Valentine's day, we ended up watching a movie that I really enjoy (Little Shop of Horrors), and he had never seen.  He's not really into musicals, so it really was a gift for me :)
I gave him his present which was a heart shaped box of Reese's (his fav), a Printed out 11x17 glossy version of the poster I had made for him which is posted in my "Ode To My Husband" blog post, and I had made a "card" on the computer that he now has as his computer screen background...

We decided to have a Valentine's continuation the next day (yesterday), and he reordered the flowers to be delivered then.
We also were all set to use this awesome Johnny Carino's gift card my mom had gotten us for V-day as our special dinner since we didn't have one the night before.  You would think after the previous days disaster nothing could go wrong again, right? Wrong. The flowers never came again... I informed him of this right before he left work and he called them to cancel the order.  I'm already starting to feel a little down in the dumps, when he comes home with flowers in hand.  He had stopped at HEB on the way home.  I was so happy!  He also had brought me this cute mug with candy all in it!

The mug was my favorite part, he knows me so well. :)
The only thing that would have made it more perfect is if it wasn't pink, if it was like orange and yellow, or blue or something. But he said the only colors they had were pink and red, and I hate red, so he made a good choice.
So! Just when things are looking up, and I'm finally having a good V-day! The unthinkable happens.  We are all dressed up ready to go to dinner and I ask "Where's the gift card?" That's right, folks. We lost the gift card... WE FELT SOOO BAD. :(  We searched everywhere for 3 hours over and over and over again, we even drove to his office just in case he had taken it there and left it and nothing.
It was horrible, I had to call my mom and ask her if there was any chance she might have ended up with it, and sure enough, no.. She wasn't mad at us just disappointed that we didn't get to use it.. Carson was mad at himself cause he was the last one to have it before it disappeared and I felt horrible cause I'm usually so good about those kinds of things and not losing them. :(  The only place we think it could have ended up was being accidentally dropped out of Carson's pocket when he was walking the dog the night we got it, or it accidentally got thrown in the trash some how, and he had already taken the trash to the dumpster... He even went so far as to go look in the dumpster, but there were like 30 trash bags more than when he had originally thrown ours in.. It's no use. It's gone. The good news is that if we do eventually find it, it doesn't expire, so we will have a free dinner then. lol.
So what we ended up doing instead was going to chick fil a, ordering a ton of food and two huge sodas, we bought some jack and had a good ole time enjoying our food and drinks watching Big Love in our pj's in our living room.  So, it ended pretty happy..  I think the biggest lesson we learned was how not getting upset at each other in a really frustrating situation is really helpful. :)

So that was our Valentine's Day.  And here I sit, drinking my coffee out of my new mug and trying not to worry about the cleaning I have tomorrow and on Saturday after my eye exam.  I'm pretty sure my glasses prescription is just a little out dated (it's 4 years old)... Considering I can't judge the depth or see signs clearly when I'm driving, even with my glasses on, I think it's time for a check up. lol.
I'm off, it's laundry day and I have a lot to wash.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Insomnia Again?

This is the second night in a month that I haven't been able to sleep.  

I went to bed about 11:00... Everything was fine, I fell asleep fairly quickly with no problems, then around 12:30, Carson went to bed and woke me up somehow (it might have been Strider making noise that actually woke me up, whatever it was I was up at 12:30)... I tried to go back to sleep but for some reason my body couldn't get comfortable anymore.  I laid in bed for 30 mins, got up played a video game, felt a little sleepy, went back to bed for about 10 mins, and I'm up again.  Wide awake.  This is ridiculous.  There's like no reason I should be awake right now.  I definitely don't sleep in like crazy and I have a pretty regular sleeping routine.. :/  The last time this happened was January 16th.  That night I had fallen asleep for about and hour and a half before I woke up and ended up staying awake watching TV and eating sunflower seeds until about 5:30 am before finally crashing.  It was so weird.. Then again, I'm pretty sure that time had something to do with me being sick, as I was very nauseous that night and was having shoulder pains.
I really don't like this.. I was so looking forward to sleeping tonight, I was all excited to cuddle up under the covers and sleep all warm and cozy.. But noooooo.  :(

In other news (I might as well update, since I'm awake and all), we got the results today for the Austin Fire Department written exam that Carson took a few weeks ago.  He didn't make it. :(  He doesn't want to make a big deal about it, so he's not going to post anything on Facebook.. He said he just wants people to figure it out eventually and move on.  The bright side is that now he can focus easier on his EMT studies.. Unfortunately he wouldn't have needed to do that if he had made it into Austin.  Oh well.. God had a reason for it, I'm sure.. and there's always next year.  And I'm sure by the time he finishes his EMT (which at the latest will be May) there will be a department somewhere around here hiring.

I haven't given up on my jewelry, I just haven't made anything new in the past few days.  The necklace I gave my grandma broke, so that has discouraged me a bit.. but I fixed it and I just need to do more research on materials so it wont happen again to another one of my pieces.
I also will start cleaning my mom's place regularly next week for some extra cash to help us out.  Seeing as I only currently have two cleanings a month that I do with her, it's not much money, and her offering to pay me to clean her house really will help us out a lot.  I'm due to start paying back my student loans this March.. So that will be interesting.. I currently have only enough for about 6 months of payments saved up.. :(  Definitely not even close to covering what this total expense will be.  I have faith though that it will all work out.
So, that's my money situation update..

And I feel like I'm rambling on and on so I will go play WoW or watch tv or something until I crash.  Good night, hopefully.

Monday, February 7, 2011

So Different

I am craving a new tattoo... Like bad.  lol.
I don't know what to do, though. Carson hates tattoos and he's already putting up with the two I already have.  But I really really want like two more..  I have talked about it with him and he doesn't want me to get anymore, but I just can't imagine not getting at least one more..
I also am really feeling like dying my hair something drastic.. I know I just got highlights and I love them, but I'm just really feeling like rocking red or purple hair for some reason.. Again, Carson is more into the natural look, but I'm just really craving it.. Don't know what to do. :(
You know... We really don't have much at all in common.
He hates the music I listen to... I'm so not into the shows and movies he likes, we have like 4 shows that we can watch together, Big Love, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, The Office, and Boy Meets World...And I had to force him to watch Big Love the first time. He likes to stay in and I like to go out and do things. I want to start a family soon, he wants to wait. I like going to church, and a lot of the time I get the feeling that he doesn't.  And of course, I like crazy hair colors and tattoos, and he absolutely doesn't. :(  It's really hard coexisting with someone who is so different than you.
On that note, I must say this past week has been a very very difficult one.  I hope this next one is better.
Sorry for the angst lately, man I need to like go do something fun to get me out of this funk.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Current Things That Are Going Through My Head

It snowed last night!  First thing I did this morning was go out on my balcony and take pictures, then took some more from the breezeway.  :)  Finally this freezing weather pays off.  It's not much snow, but it's so pretty.  I was all excited to take Strider out in the snow for his morning potty, but then I asked Carson if he had ever seen snow before, and unfortunately he said yeah.  Apparently when they had lived in Idaho they walked him for a brief period of time before the litter box years.  So my enthusiasm disappeared and Carson took him out. :(

When it snows it really really brings back memories of my old dog, Maggie.  We used to put little sweaters on her and she HATED going potty in the snow. lol.  Poor thing. I so took her for granted. It's been like 2 years since we had to put her down but sometimes I still think I'll see her when I go to my mom's house.

Speaking of dogs, our dog, Strider did the rudest thing he has ever done.  Ok, number one I have never seen this dog scoot his bottom on the floor ever, which is weird because pretty much all dogs do it at one point or another.. However, last night he had just gotten back in from his night time potty with Carson, and he jumped up on the couch all happy and excited. 
I was like "Good boy! Who's a good boy? Come here, Bubby!" and he immediately proceeded to scoot his rear end right along the first pillow I ever made in my high school family development class... and yes, it left a stain. It made me SO mad. I scrubbed it and scrubbed it with Clorox wipes and finally got it out, but needless to say Strider is grounded from the couch for a long while... It was so defiant of him!  Like he was looking right at me when he did it. :|  Not cool.  I swear sometimes I see a spark of evil in him. lol.

Anyway, today is my grandma's 87th birthday.  We were going to celebrate it next weekend, however she was just in the hospital for minor reasons the other night so we all figured it would be better to go ahead a celebrate it tonight.  We are all going over to her house tonight for catfish and cake. :)  I'm excited to give her the necklace I made her.  We also got her a pink house dress and a small stuffed giraffe.  I know she'll like it.  I hate to say it but this might be one of her last birthdays where she will actually know what's going on.  Her mind is definitely going fast.  She has had Parkinson's since she was about 80 and a list of other minor things like depression and anxiety, etc.. Her body is still pretty healthy, it's her mind that's going. It's going to be a good birthday.

Speaking of birthdays (I'm actually having a harder time than it seems transitioning though these random topics) I hope that someone gets me a deck of cards for my birthday this year...
It's been a while since I got a new one for my collection.  Yes, little known fact about me, I collect playing card decks.  I have somewhere around 40 right now, and haven't gotten a new one in at least 2 or 3 years.  I have no idea why I like them, I just do.  I have no plans to sell them, or display them even, I just like having them. lol. In fact they are hidden away in a decorative box where no one would even know they exist except people who know me well. :/  Just thought I'd share.

And I really can't think of a segue to this next topic, but I have found my new favorite Fabreze scent!  New Zealand Natural Spring. OMG, it smells like what heaven must smell like, well to me anyway.
I might need to buy like a bunch of these so I can spray it all over my house all the time.
Everyone go out and buy one it smells amazing..
Ok, I'm done now, I'm sure there are more things I could think of to talk about, but I really need to get started with my day.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Jewelry Update

I have made a few more necklaces, two of which I thought I would share on here. I am a little bit proud of them and really hope that they hold up to being worn so I can sell them.
Still waiting on Carson to clear out one of his old bank accounts so I can start using it for Paypal and can start selling. :)
I have set a goal for myself that I will make a few more necklaces, bracelets and earrings, then will start taking good photos of all of them, about 3 to 4 of each piece so I can be ready to post the items on Artfire once all the financial stuff is set up.
Anyway, here is the first necklace, it is one of the "slider" designs. I had bought the pendant last year to give to a friend in a collage I had made for her, unfortunately(or fortunately) that friendship ended before I could give it to her.  So just the other day I was looking around for more pendants to use on these necklaces and stumbled across the collage.  Perfect. I took the design of the tree and expanded on it with the colors of the beads.  Personally I think it looks very "earthy", which a lot of people are into right now, so I think it will do well and find a new home.
Here are some close ups of the necklace's different parts.
I have no idea what kind of metal the pendant is, which is probably something I should figure out just in case someone who is interested in buying wants to know.

Ok, next necklace.. This one gave me SUCH a hard time.  I got the idea yesterday when I was thinking about how I used to wear gauges in my ears for a long time but before my wedding I quit and my earring holes shrunk back down.  I can still fit up to a size ten in them, but it doesn't feel right anymore. 
So I was like, "what can I do to still get use out of my old gauges?"  And the necklace was born.  At first I thought it would be easy, just attach a loop onto the earring, string it and bead it, easy, right?  Wrong. I soon discovered that the earring slides all over the place and looks horrible that way.. So I added another loop.. then another and another until I came out with this.  Personally, I like it.  Not sure how long it will hold up considering the loops are cheap and really really easy to open and close.. So it might fall apart.. but if you're really careful with it, it shouldn't have a problem.
It is fixed with a toggle clasp, which I thought matched the style of the piece well.  All in all I am happy with it.  It was difficult and was definitely a challenge, but worth it.
And again, here are some alternate pictures. Enjoy.

So, that's my jewelry update as of tonight.
By the way it is FREAKING cold. Grocery shopping in 20 degree weather with like 10 degree wind chill is NOT fun at all. :(
Good Night!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Random Thoughts

So, it has come to my attention, as it does every year around this time that Texas weather is incredibly fickle. :(  And I'm not happy about it.

Today the high is around 33 degrees, and the low is going to be about 15 degrees.  Well, guess what the temperature was yesterday?  High of 77 degrees, and low of 51... WHAT THE CRAP?!  I really really hope it is in the Lord's plan for us to move out of this crazy crazy lone star state.
Over the weekend we had taken down all of our Christmas decorations, which wasn't the original plan... We WERE going to leave them up until possibly the middle or even the end of February.. Well, considering this weekend felt pretty much like Spring was right around the corner we figured what the heck let's start preparing... And now this freeze happens. You know, I bet it will snow as well.. that would be just my luck.  I really wanted it to snow while the decorations were up because we had the whole "snowy, frosty, wintery" theme going on but no.  No snow in Texas.. That is not until February... :(  Ok, rant is over.

In other news, I'm pretty sure my dog, Strider, thinks he is a cat.  It sounds crazy, but I swear it's true.  About the only thing he does that's like a dog is he LOVES food.  And he potty's outside on a leash (which is something that is only recent.. when he was living with Carson's family before we got married they had him using the litter box his whole 8 years of life).. And that's about it.  He sleeps all day, and when he's not sleeping he's grooming himself like a cat.. He doesn't play, he climbs on furniture like as if he has grace and balance (which he doesn't, he has a fat Chihuahua body on long skinny Miniature Pincher legs), and I swear he growls when he likes something like as if he thinks he is purring...?  Plus he is about as skittish as a cat. He runs and hides under the bed constantly. Scared of EVERYTHING. 

Anyway, I have been feeling a little under the weather lately, so that's why I haven't been really posting anything here and haven't made any new jewelry since last week.
Hopefully I will feel better by this weekend.  It's Super Bowl this Sunday and Carson's dad will possibly be coming down to stay with us Sunday night.  I would like to be able to feel like a hostess and not a useless sick lady. :/

Ok.. That's about all I can think of to write atm.. If I think of anything else or if anything super exciting happens, I'll be back.