Friday, February 18, 2011

One Step Forward...One Step Right Back

There are a couple areas in my life this post is about.. Brace yourself, it's going to be a long one.

Heath & Fitness

First of all I need to admit that I have been doing HORRIBLE on my diet and exercise program.  Right after my wedding I had made a goal that I would lose 20 pounds and I would do it by eating healthy home cooked food and exercising at least 20 minutes each day for 3 to 5 days out of the week.  At first I was doing pretty good. Just a few weeks ago my sister bought us a scale so I could weigh myself accurately and I was so happy to see that I only had 8 pounds to go to my goal weight.  I thought no problem, I got this.  I'll be ready for swim suit season in no time!  Well... Unfortunately I got on the scale today after my work out and I have actually gained 5 pounds back..
I feel like crap.  I know it was all my fault, I have totally let myself slip.  A lot of it had to do honestly with my recent lack of self motivation in every department and my erratic ups and downs with my mood. 

We also have been consuming a lot of fast food lately.. Which is something that I definitely don't condone and have never really like to do.. It's just so easy. And it's nice not having to grocery shop this week because of it.. But it is definitely taking a toll on my body.  Another reason I have been ok with this behavior is because it just takes so long to prepare food and I know that's not a good excuse, but just sometimes you feel lazy, you know?  And things are going one and food is like the last thing on your mind and it's just so much easier to have your husband go through that drive through and pick some yummy but oh so unhealthy food and sodas.  Ugh, the sodas are the worst.  I am addicted to Pepsi and Coke.  Like bad.  Like I could seriously drink it all day..
Ok, getting back on track.. The food isn't 100 percent to blame here.. I also haven't been living up to my 3 to 5 days of working out a week.  These past 3 to 4 weeks I have been working out about.. 0 to 2 days a week... Not exactly what my goal was.
So.. That has been my HUGE unfortunate step back.. I now have 13 pounds to lose before summer instead of 8. :(

Work & Fear

In this department there has been a very very small step forward.  I might have mentioned that my mom has commissioned me to clean her house 2 days out of the month.  It doesn't seem like much, but it's definitely better than nothing at all.  Well, yesterday was my first day cleaning her house and it was a breeze.  She is a very clean lady and because she's my mom she said I could have a Coke (there we go with the cokes again) and eat lunch while I was there. :)  It's a pretty sweet gig, I might say.
The most stressful part of the whole thing was the driving.  I know I know, it's weird and pathetic that I am afraid of driving.. But I really really can't help it. :(  Because we only have one car I have to take Carson to work in the morning, then drive to my mom's place, then back home.  Then in the evenings I have to go pick him up from work on those days.  Luckily it's only 2 days out of the month.  But I just get so so so so stressed driving in 4:30 or 5:00 traffic..  I have the same problem driving to my two other cleanings a month that I do in the evenings.  I'm not going to give up my cleanings or anything just because of the driving, but I have to find some way to get over this fear.  It's like overwhelming..
One step in the right direction is my eye exam I have scheduled for tomorrow morning.  Hopefully I can get an updated prescription and will be able to focus more when I do drive. 
So that's a step forward.

And then with my jewelry situation I feel like I'm hanging in limbo.. I still don't have that bank account cleared out to set up a pay pal account.. So I can't sell anything that I have yet.  I haven't made anything new because my motivation is a little on the low at the moment with everything else going on.
And as strange as it sounds I can't seem to find the time to make myself sit down and make something. :/
It's like I have so many things I want to be doing right now and I just can't seem to get them all straightened out with each other.
Off to clean the kitchen and peel potatoes for dinner tonight.

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